If It's To Be, It's Up To Me!!

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“Success is the realization of the estimate you place upon yourself.”

                                                     Elbert Hubbard

Sometimes, people set up goals for themselves and then find reasons to keep themselves from making any meaningful progress toward those goals. Perhaps you’ve run into people who have established “deserve levels” for themselves—levels of income, or happiness, or career satisfaction that they never go much above or much below, despite the opportunity to do so.

Think about financial goals. Even people who have work situations that allow for wide disparities in monthly income totals—salespeople, say, or home entrepreneurs—somehow manage to keep themselves from moving much outside of this so-called “comfort level.” Although people will say that they want to be able to increase their incomes, they’ll often find some way to link the attainment of that goal to someone other than themselves, and their small steps won’t match up with the big goals they’ve set up. The distance between where they are and where they want to be is measured in excuses: “If only someone would take over the job of organizing things...” “If only our financial system were better targeted...” “If only I had the energy I once had...”

There are far too many unfortunate souls on this earth who think that, once they figure out what life’s all about, they’ll be able to press the “rewind” button and run themselves back to, say, age 21—or any other time when “things were better.” Sad to say, people don’t come equipped with such a button. For these poor folks, life slips by, day by day, as they wait for someone or something to show them the way.

What they’re waiting for, when you get right down to it, is the “guy on the white horse”—the person who will tackle all the mysteries, solve all the problems, ride in and rescue them. While they’re waiting for this person to show up, they disengage. Let me share a secret: You have instant access to the “man or woman on the white horse”—the person on whom our safety and success depends—at any time. All you have to do is look down, and you’ll see that you’re sitting astride that “white horse.”

You are the guy on the white horse! You are the only person who’s qualified to change your present and, thereby, change your future. Don’t wait for great occasions to step forward as your own hero; don’t assume that someone else is blocking your way. Seize common occasions for positive personal change, and make them great.

The time to commit yourself to developing the most efficient plan possible to achieve your goals is right now. And the person who must carry out that plan is you. As someone once said, “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

Immediate Action: Think about how can you take action, today, to address a challenge you had once believed to be someone else’s responsibility. Waiting for someone else to achieve a goal for us means abandoning that “molded-in-clay” goal—before it’s been put into permanent form!

Point to Ponder Before You Go On: Remember: A bad habit—like waiting for the guy on the white horse—can become so strong that it can be mistaken for destiny. Don’t let that happen to you!

Excerpted from Danny’s book, There Are No Limits: Breaking the Barriers in Personal High Performance

The No Limits Story of Mary Lawrence

Mary Lawrence was no stranger to tragedy. For five years after her husband’s death she wandered through life with no real direction. Then late one night, a driver ran a stop sign and what had been two cars was a mass of twisted rubble.

When one of the paramedics found her broken body, he said, “Get the others. This one’s gone.”  But she wasn’t and her spirit was uninjured.  On the way back to town, an amazed medic had discovered she had a pulse!  At the hospital the doctor said she wouldn’t live through the night. She did.

She spent the next year in the hospital. Her teeth and facial bones wired together. Later they performed fifteen root canals. They explained they had to do two facial reconstruction surgeries where no anesthesia could be used. Her response!  “Let’s get started.”

A year later, she was released. Her doctor told her to go home and “take it easy.” You don’t say that to “No Limits” people unless you get out of the way first!

When she went shopping, her face still swollen, she would see people she knew were friends. She couldn’t remember their names because of the permanent brain damage. They didn’t recognize her and turned their heads rather than look at her.  She said that really hurt.

Her memory was so bad she concentrated on each word of a sentence so she wouldn’t forget what she had said at the beginning. She discovered that getting a California real estate license was very difficult because of the memory work. Typically, she said that’s what she’d do.

She would read each page of that thick real estate manual fifty to sixty times until it was engrained. She passed the full day test the first time!

Mary went to work for one broker who terminated her after a month because she was slow in memorizing the inventory. At the second company, it was the same scenario.

An hour after the second termination my phone rang. This very determined voice said, “I’m Mary Lawrence and I want to work for you.”

She was in our three-week training program a few days later. After she graduated I placed her in one of my offices. WOW! Her sales were incredible.

A year later at our annual banquet I announced her name from the stage as one of our ten Outstanding First Year Salespeople. She came up on the stage. As I handed her the plaque, she leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Save me a place.  I’ll be back up here next year.”  As I watched her walk away, I thought, she means that.

The very next morning Mary bought a long pink dress to wear one year later. She hung it up in the very center of her closet to remind herself daily of her goal.

The next year I stand on that Grand Ballroom stage of the Disneyland Hotel. I tell the back-story that she had finally told me only a month before. At the end of this triumphant story I announce that she is #1 out of our 700 salespeople in listings taken, listings sold, sales and gross commission. “Ladies and gentlemen, Mary Lawrence.”

Mary, a true “no limits” champion floats across the dance floor in the beautiful long pink gown that had acted as her daily inspiration. To add to this triumphant moment, the band is playing “The Impossible Dream” and several hundred people rise in a roaring, standing ovation. Not a dry eye in the audience!

She stands in the spotlight at center stage of the Disneyland Hotel. I move toward her with the large Number One trophy. She turns, looks me in the eye and says, “I told you I’d be back!”

Point to Ponder:

Adversity sometimes strips a person only to discover the person.

Higher up and farther on!

Danny

Fear vs Courage

"Once when Marshall Ney was going into battle, 
looking down at his knees which were smiting together, 
he said, 'You may well shake; you would shake

 worse yet if you knew where I am going to take you.'"      

                                                                     Orison Swett Marden

What or who builds self-imposed barriers?  A stonemason named Fear, one who is highly skilled in building powerful barriers from nonexistent stones.  Where does this craftsman live?  In our minds.  He's always there, but it's up to us whether he lives in the back of our minds or the front of our minds.

Fear is the sworn enemy of adventure, which is perhaps the most exhilarating force driving no-limits achievement.  And Fear goes exactly where we tell him to go.

We move Fear from the back of our minds to the front of our minds by shifting our concentration away from our own courage, and choosing instead to focus on that which frightens us.  Not only does that action change Fear's location, but through the process of concentration, it means we actually start to strengthen Fear.  Fear has no strength of its own; its only strength is that which we choose to give it.

When Fear defeats us, it does so because of our own mental focus.  And unfortunately, the strength we pass along to Fear is the very strength we need to overcome it!  If, on the other hand, we choose to push our goals, wrapped in courage, to the forefront of our minds, then barriers break.

You already possess sufficient courage to initiate this process and see your personal adventure through.  A person may not be born with an overabundance of talent, but he or she will certainly possess all the courage needed, whether used or unused, to develop the talent that is there.  Long after passing on to the next world, we will be remembered by family and friends, not necessarily for our inborn talents, but for the amount of courage we used, especially during our times of trial.  The strength and vividness of the memories our loved ones and friends hold of us after we are gone will be directly proportional to the amount of courage we have chosen to use.

Immediate Action: Starve your fear!  Feed your courage!  Embrace your adventure!

Point to Ponder:  "Fear knocked at the door.  Faith answered.  No one was there."  (From above the fireplace at Hinds' Head Hotel, near London.)

Excerpted from Danny Cox’s book, There Are No Limits: Breaking the Barriers to Personal High Performance. $14.99 plus shipping, MC/VISA

Examine Your "Rushes"

Examine Your “Rushes”

“Your life is like a book. The title page is your name, the preface your introduction to the world. The pages are a daily record of your efforts, trials, pleasures, discouragements, and achievements. Day by day your thoughts and acts are being inscribed in your book of life. Hour by hour, the record is being made that must stand for all time. Once the word ‘fini’ must be written, let it then be said of your book that it is a record of noble purpose, generous service, and work well-done.”

Grenville Kleiser, author of Training for Power and Leadership

Lights, camera, action! Welcome to your own private Hollywood: You are making, right now, day by day, the movie of your life.

At some time in the future you will reach that great cinema in the sky. You will take a seat in that heavenly auditorium and watch the movie of your life as you lived it––playing out on the big screen to end all big screens. How will you feel about that movie as it unspools? Every night as I go to sleep, I find myself wondering, how will “The Life and Times of Danny Cox” look when it is played back? Will I be proud of that movie? Will I know in my heart that the central character pursued the right goals, for the right reasons? Or will I wonder why on earth that man on the screen made the choices he did? Will I find myself yearning for the chance to make another film––the film I should have made? What can I do now, today, to make sure that that movie is the best I can possibly make it?

Yesterday’s film is “in the can.” The choices we make day by day, the goals we set for ourselves, the way we act toward achieving those goals––those are the only factors that will affect the film that still remains to be shot.

So, how can we improve that film? One-way is to use the technique used by the Hollywood moguls to insure film quality; Look at the daily rushes.

What are daily rushes? They’re a moviemaker’s short-term answers to big questions: “Am I getting to where I thought I was getting? And if I’m not, where the heck am I getting to, and how do I get back?”

When Steven Spielberg sets out to make an exotic new adventure film, he doesn’t travel around the world, shoot every scene in his script, and then sit down and review all the footage from beginning to end. That’s a risky way to make a movie! Spielberg might just get to the end of the process and realize that the mood in scene 43A didn’t quite match up with the mood scene in scene 43B––and then ask himself why he didn’t notice that while he was still in Sumatra with the cast and crew.

Waiting until the last minute to review one’s shooting is a dangerous proposition. Instead, a good director takes a look, each day, at the rushes, the early film clips that reflect the work that was just completed. By reviewing the first prints of that day’s clips, Spielberg (and every other director worthy of the name) can evaluate each of the individual shots that will eventually turn into a movie––the movie that the director set out to make.

It’s close to impossible to put together a good movie if you don’t look at your rushes until the end of the production process. I believe the same principle applies to the movie of your life. And who wants to run the risk of sabotaging that release?

Rushes give filmmakers the chance to review each day’s work. For a director, looking at the rushes means sitting in a dark screening room and looking out for what worked and what didn’t. As he watches the images go by, the director asks questions. How should a scene be edited? What needs to be improved? How does what’s up on the screen affect the next day’s work?

In the same way, a barrier-breaker learns to ask questions about the “shooting schedule” of the day just past. Every day, at some point we need to ask ourselves, “What just happened? What brought me closer to my goal? What moved me further away from my goal? What worked? How can I get what worked to happen again and happen on a regular basis if I need it to?"

It’s just as important to ask, “What didn’t work so well? What would I edit out if I had the chance? What needs to be done all over again? What do I need to do to keep a ‘bad scene’ from happening again?”

Even more important is to ask, “What was the big lesson life had planned for me today?” Once you figure that one out, you can ask yourself, “How well did I learn that lesson, and what can I do to put it to work the next time I face a similar situation?”

Asking questions like that, once a day, is part of reviewing the day’s “rushes”––the actual events and decisions you made over the course of 24 hours. That’s the way to be sure the film of your life is shaping up, as it should. Watching your own daily rushes is the same as monitoring the progress you’ve made toward the important goals you’ve identified.  Again, taking baby steps is fine, as long as you go somewhere you intend to go!

Immediate Action:  At the end of the day today, ask yourself, “Did I move upward, toward positive role models and energizing goals, or did I move down, toward negative influences?” Be ruthlessly honest with yourself, and write down the answers you come up with on a sheet of paper. Find out whether there was net “gain” or a net “loss” in movement toward your constructive goal, and then ask yourself how you can maximize gains and minimize loses tomorrow.

Point to Ponder Before You Go On:  Examining your rushes is not an exercise in negative thinking it’s a way of fine-tuning your daily goals, and thus making progress toward your major goals. If this opportunity for self-evaluation becomes an opportunity for self-flagellation, you’re in trouble! Goals always look forward; discouragement always looks backward.

Destiny Goals

Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably they will not be realized. Make big plans, aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing insistency. 

 David Burnham, British Architect

Your goals should be big enough, bold enough, and exciting enough, to turn you on, if they are, and if your goals point you in the right direction, you’ll notice that some strange things will start to happen. You’ll start to get excited about taking your goals on, you’ll start to get better at what you do, and doors will start opening up for you.

It’s not a lack of talent, but a lack of goals, that causes one’s life to stagnate. Remember: If you are having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, its because you have no new goals. Deciding not to have a specific goal IS a specific goal.

The size of our future goals will determine our future life style. It’s as simple as that but not easy.  George Foreman, twice Heavy Weight Boxing Champion said, “If I see what I want, real good in my mind, I don’t notice any pain in getting it.”

When we make a commitment to accomplishment––not to waiting passively for change, but to making change happen––the resulting improvement in morale becomes a vote of confidence for our life.

A goal’s main purpose is to help develop undeveloped potential. The goal motivates us to action. We work hard and overcome obstacles, and the achieved goal becomes a reward for the effort.

Experiencing temporary setbacks is not a crime. Low aim is! So, what are you aiming for? Your goals should make sense for where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you’re headed.

Be sure you set goals that are: (1) Exciting. (2) Realistic. (3) Measurable. (4) Attainable.

The best goals will energize you and motivate you to take action! Goals will bring your life’s energy into focus. Dreaming without ever focusing will dissipate your precious energy and waste your precious time. Think of goals as “dreams with deadlines,” as someone once put it.

Your goals should be too exciting, too powerful, too rooted in what you already find exhilarating for you to ignore.  If the goal doesn’t motivate you instantly, it needs to be revised!

Point to Ponder Before You Go On: Whatever comes to us in life, we create first in our minds. Whether we know it or not, our best dreams and goals––those that motivate us in a positive direction––are our Creator’s contribution to our personal suggstion box. Judge your goals by the pictures they create in your mind and by how much they motivate you.

Crystal-clear Focus on the Future

“The faster I got, the smoother the ride. Suddenly the Mach needle began to fluctuate. It went up to .965 Mach––then tipped right off the scale. After all the anxiety, after all the anticipation, breaking the sound barrier, the unknown, was just a poke through Jell-O, a perfectly paved speedway, because the real barrier wasn’t in the sky but in our knowledge and experience of supersonic flight.”

––From pilot Chuck Yeager’s autobiography, Yeager

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”

––Thomas Edison

Here’s a very important thing I learned from my mentor, Jim Newton: No-limits people focus with the intensity of a laser beam on what’s still possible. Once they commit themselves to a goal––and to the ongoing development of their own talents and abilities––they don’t spend a whole lot of time looking back and wondering how things might have turned out. They make their own luck. They don’t get sidetracked worrying about what’s gone wrong in the past; they study what works, identify exactly what doesn’t and then move forward.

No-limits people, in other words, learn to focus instinctively on what will still be. Most other people, by contrast, have taught themselves to focus instinctively on what might have been.

Look around you, and you’ll find that most people are content simply to get through the day. They focus on “bad luck” or “ rotten breaks” and look for excuses not to perform at peak levels. Of course, they usually find those excuses. If there were any honesty in the world, the majority of people would plan their days in daily planners that would have a long list of “opportunities to give in today” and perhaps one line devoted to a possible success!

The way people think about the day ahead––“It’ll never work! We’re doomed!” or “God never gives me more than I can handle. I know I can learn from whatever I encounter today”––has a profound impact on the amount we achieve. If we ask merely to get through the day, that’s what we’ll achieve! If we focus on “what might have been,” we never give ourselves the opportunity to become excited about “what will be!”

Immediate Action: Think of someone you know or have worked with whose habits and attitudes remind you of those of the “might-have-been” thinker. Now think of someone you know or have worked with whose example is closer to that of the “will-still-be” thinker. Whose life is more exciting? Whose rewards are more inspiring? Whose company do you enjoy more?

Point to Ponder Before You Go On: No-limits people fall into my category of “Accelerationist,” because they ACCELERATE! Here’s what I mean by that:

A––Awareness. They’re aware of the current situation and the goals they’ve set.

C––Commitment. They’re committed to developing their strengths.

C––Celebrate. They celebrate goals and achievement on a daily basis.

E––Education. They view this as a neverending process.

L––Laughter. They know how to laugh, and they do it often! (Laughter gets rid of negative stress.)

E––Energize. Their energy rubs off on others.

R––Responsibility. They encourage team accountability and are willing to stand behind their own

decisions.

A––Aim. They keep raising it.

T––Time. They take time for themselves and for their family.

E––Evaluate. They regularly evaluate what’s happened and why. In other words, they learn from

themselves, as well as others.

Three Driving Forces

Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.”

Thomas Edison

What drives no limits people? That’s what I wanted Jim Newton, author of Uncommon Friends to reveal. He didn’t disappoint me.

I met him thirty years ago when he was in his late seventies. During his early twenties his circle of friends was Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, Nobel Prize Winner Dr. Alexis Carrel and Charles Lindberg.

This group has been called the men who invented the 20^th Century. During the hundreds of hours he was with them, he took notes, actually five or six boxes full of them. This treasure trove became the basis for Jim’s book, “Uncommon Friends.”

Of my many conversations with Jim one is a standout. I learned one of the biggest lessons in my life. I said, “Did these great high achievers have any common driving forces?”

Three interlocking and self-supporting forces, he explained, motivate these high achievers. First of all, no-limits people are inspired by an unshakable sense of purpose. This sense of purpose supports and reinforces (and is supported and reinforced by in turn) two more driving forces. The no-limits person has an unquenchable spirit of adventure and a desire for continued personal growth. These people know they don’t know it all. (Anyone who does think he or she knows it all is in what we used to call “the graveyard spiral” in the flying business.)

As I say, these three motivations don’t operate in a vacuum. Although the sense of purpose (which is sometimes described as a “sense of mission”) initiates the cycle, it connects with each of the other two motivations, and is constantly strengthened by them. Take a look at the diagram, which I developed after a discussion with Jim. It makes the process a little easier to understand.

The cycle starts in the middle—the no-limits person has developed an incredibly strong sense of “what needs to happen and why.” This is the awareness and planning stage, the part of the cycle where goals are developed. Without a firm sense of purpose, without a mission, without a strong goal orientation, there is no such thing as a barrier-breaker.

So the goal’s established and a plan is in place. Then the no-limits person launches that plan and embarks on the adventure of actually achieving the goal. Of course, there are challenges and temporary setbacks along the way; problem solving is part of the adventure. This is the second phase of the process, and it’s very exciting.

Even after the goal is achieved, the no-limits person is motivated—this time, to prepare for the challenges of the future. That third element, the desire for continued personal growth, is a commitment not to “rest on laurels” or “stick with the formula” because it’s always worked before. No-limits people are about positive change, positive growth, and forward movement. For them, the cycle is not complete until there’s evidence of renewal and new understanding.

All three motivations support and reinforce one another. All three are essential forces for the development of a no-limits life.

These are the driving forces that no-limits people use to put their lives into “afterburner” mode, to use Air Force terminology. With practice, you can use these forces to change your life, too!

Immediate Action: Review the three forces that drive no-limits achievers. Jot them down on a separate sheet of paper.

Point to Ponder Before You Go On: No-limits people are those who commit to pushing themselves outside of the comfort zone, those who know what they want and are willing to commit fully to the adventure of achieving their goals, and those who are willing to say, as my friend Jim Rohn says, “In order to do more, I’ve got to be more